So I got up and ran 5 kilometers today…
Didn’t have to talk myself into it.
Just got up. Put shoes on. And went.
Wasn’t even planning on 5k either, was initially just thinking 2 miles. But, I kept going… and it was pretty neat to see myself grow.
Just getting back into running after a year off is weird. But it’s cool. I’m enjoying it. And I’m hoping to see some major improvements in the next couple of months.
Because I haven’t eaten anything all day except for Coffee, a larabar, and vegetable broth…
I’ve just been feeling so weird, my stomach has been hurting, and I haven’t had an appetite.
I can’t sleep when I’m hungry… So we’ll see how this goes.
Because I’m going to Peru in March to lead a mission trip focused on Social Justice issues regarding Special Needs families. It’s basically one of the coolest things I can describe about my Senior Year so far.
Anyways. We had to talk about ways we’re Allies to different issues. Of course I talked about special needs… But the largest paragraph on my paper was undoubtedly about being an Ally to those who struggle with Body Image and Eating Disorders.
Why was this the longest? Because I am one of those people. Because I struggle with body image, I always have. And even though I don’t sink into ED territory anywhere near as much as I used to, I’ve been there, I go there, it’s a cycle.
So I got to talk about it in class, about how using “Anorexic” as a synonym of “Thin” Is socially, and disgustingly incorrect. I talked about how EDs don’t discriminate on body size. It also doesn’t discriminate on how much is on your plate. Binging is just as tragic as purging. Food keeps us alive, but for some us, it keeps us from living. It’s not a thing about vanity, it’s not about looking your best, and it certainly is not a fucking thing about attention. I am an ally, I always will be an ally, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
That I might be stumbling.
It’s not that I haven’t been hungry the past week. But I haven’t wanted to eat anything. I haven’t had the urge to eat even though I’ve needed food.
Which could just be a factor of being busy… I know. But the problem that I’m noticing, is that I’m enjoying feeling this way and hoping it’ll stick around.
I’m up. I’ve worked out. And I’m sipping a orange-carrot-spinach smoothie.
Workout this morning went well - about 20 minutes in I was feeling done but pushed through and now I’m feeling great. I normally don’t feel like I’m exhausted that early in the game… But at the end I checked and my max heart rate was 180… So clearly I was pushing a lil harder than I normally do and that explains the exhaustion. Haha.
Earned my shower. So that’s what I’m about to go do.